Nail’d Review

Nail’d is an arcade-style off-road racer with a focus on speed and chaos over realistic physics. Straight away, Nail’d seems a little dated. From the name to its style, it screams “X-Games circa 2003,” when dudes were screaming about sick air while “DOING THE DEW BRO.” But in reality, Nail’d actually goes further back from a design perspective, calling on memories of games like Off-road Thunder and other arcade rally racers in the late ’80s and ’90s. Those games eschewed complication in favor of immediate, in-your-face gratification because they had to; they were competing for your quarters 90 seconds at a time. However, it’s 2010. Arcades are dead, consoles are king, depth is expected, and Nail’d just can’t keep up with the pack. The setup is simple enough. The meat of the game is in its career mode, where you can race an ATV or MX bike through several leagues and courses in a quest to win the Nail’d championship. Most races require you to finish three laps around a course, though occasionally, Nail’d mixes things up, whether it’s by adding “mutators” to races (which add quirks such as infinite boost or no collision with other drivers), or through stunt challenges, where you’re judged on your completion time and the “tricks” you pull off. I put tricks in quotes because there isn’t much in the way of finesse here. Something as simple as landing successfully from a jump can be a trick, as is passing through flaming gates or running other racers off the track. There’s also multiplayer racing for up to 12 players online. Nail’d isn’t about tight turn ratios or drifting or any other piece of racer jargon you’ve heard this year. The challenge in Nail’d is intended to come from finding the most insane, fastest route possible by boosting through busy courses while avoiding getting, well, nailed by other racers on ATVs or dirtbikes. There are times when it almost comes together too — running off a ramp in the air at about a thousand miles an hour and weaving in between hot air balloons, or threading through giant wind turbines is admittedly cool.